CabbieBlog

Look Behind You

It’s pantomime time again, when small children get their first experience of live theatre and for those of you who aren’t lucky enough to experience this Christmas treat, a small explanation is necessary. Panto originated about 16th century and in the tradition of the time audience participation was to be encouraged, another essential ingredient today, as then, is trans-gender dressing with a shapely young woman dressing up as the best “boy”, while middle aged male actors don outlandish female clothes as the ugly sisters.

The narrative is usually based on a children’s story or fable and a perennial favourite is Dick Whittington and his Cat, drawing inspiration from the poem:

Turn again, Whittington,
Once Lord Mayor of London!
Turn again, Whittington,
Twice Lord Mayor of London!
Turn again, Whittington,
Thrice Lord Mayor of London!

The story of Dick Whittington is a familiar one, poor boy comes to the metropolis thinking the streets were paved with gold and seeking his fame and fortune. Unable to achieve his goal he leaves London travelling northward accompanied by his black cat. Upon reaching Highgate Hill (about three miles north from the City of London) he turns for one last glance and hears the bells of Bow Church in Cheapside, itself very improbable given the distance involved. Believing the bells are sending him a message, telling him to turn back, he returns to the City, becomes Lord Mayor of London and makes his fortune.

At the bottom of Highgate Hill a small stone plinth with a cat marks the spot where Dick Whittington is said to have heard the sound of the bells and a nearby hospital still carries his name.

The story of Richard Whittington (1354-1423) is somewhat different from the fable and if anything is more fascinating.

Born into a rich aristocratic family in the Forest of Dean, Richard Whittington entered the City in the 1380s, and was apprenticed as a Mercer (a dealer in cloth). After completing his apprenticeship he quickly established himself as a merchant and became a major importer of European fabrics. An appointment to the royal court firmly established him as a gentleman of repute, and with astute commercial enterprise he amassed a huge fortune, becoming a money lender counting sovereigns among others as his clients. Whittington was now at the height of his powers among London’s elite and was awarded many titles including four times Lord Mayor, Alderman, a Member of Parliament and a High Court Judge.

For someone so wealthy, Richard Whittington was a man of conscience, but his charitable work among the City’s poor and disadvantaged is little known. In his lifetime Whittington gave to a variety of good causes, a ward for unmarried mothers at St Thomas’ Hospital, rebuilding of the Guildhall, installing the first public drinking fountains and drainage systems for the city streets. He left the majority of his huge fortune to charity, providing in his Will a sum of £7,000 (£3 million today) to be used for good causes, also the buildings and repair of many City Institutions were benefactors of Whittington’s legacy. London’s poor were not forgotten with the building of almshouses and a hospital in the street that his house stood. These charitable dwellings still exist and are located in Felbridge near Surrey; its occupants consist mainly of elderly women and the Whittington Charity continues to disburse its funds to the disadvantaged through the Mercer’s Company.

But perhaps for the Pantomime Season his revolutionary scheme for public hygiene should be recreated. Located close to where Southwark Bridge now stands Whittington engineered his grand project to improve personal hygiene for the poor, building all-purpose latrines across the River Thames foreshore; there was enough seating for 40 people in one sitting (so to speak), and using the tide to flush to effluent downriver. Ironically the Corporation of London later built their health and hygiene department of works on this site.

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A Winter’s Tale

25 December, 2009 at 1:56 pm | In Thinking allowed | Leave a Comment
Tags: punters

Today in keeping with the Christmas tradition of bringing Joy to all Mankind, CabbieBlog brings you a tale from New York with a happy ending; the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Joe Grimaldi was driving his Checker Cab through Lower East Side, wondering what the day would bring. He needed money for his three children’s Christmas presents and there was that little matter of the rent arrears.

Quite unexpectedly he was flagged down in this area of the city not renowned as a honeypot of work.

“Can you take me to the junction of 2ndand 4th?^” the fare enquired.

“Sure”, said Joe thinking what a great start to the day this was.

“How much would it cost?” enquired the fare.

Joe realised that the fare wasn’t dressed as smartly as many of his customers, but a fare’s a fare these days, so he replied “2nd and 4th would be $20 give or take some”.

“What!” exclaimed the fare, “that’s goddam daylight robbery”?

With that he produced a gun and ordered Joe out of his vehicle. The assailant then jumped in behind the wheel and drove off.

Now Joe a man of few words, but clearly great reasoning powers phoned the police.

So when his assailant stopped 20 minutes later at 2nd and 4th there was a reception committee of New York’s Finest.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it feels good to be a cabbie, seeing your fellow cabbies help protect these people from their own stupidity at this Festive Time.

Happy Christmas to you all and Be Lucky.

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My Favourite Things

22 December, 2009 at 2:34 pm | In A window on My World | 1 Comment
Tags: London

It’s that time of year when the media is crammed full of trivia, so in the Christmas tradition, here is CabbieBlog’s London favourites:

Neighbourhood: Clerkenwell; I had my first job in London in this small district populated at the time by Italians giving us great delicatessens, a catholic church and an introduction to their beautiful language. The principle industries there were watchmaking and typesetting.

Building: St. Paul’s is obscured by other buildings, so the best place to see it is from Bankside on the other side of the Thames, then cross by Millennium Bridge and climb to the top, and don’t forget to visit the crypt.

Open Space: Hampstead Heath, the highest point in London, with its varied landscape and nutcases swimming in its famous ponds.

View: No problem choosing this one, Waterloo Bridge in the evening. Wordsworth got it wrong, when he wrote Upon Westminster Bridge:
Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth like a garment wear
Nice sentiment, wrong bridge. But to be fair to Will, Waterloo Bridge wasn’t built then, Ray Davis was right though.

Bar/Pub/Restaurant: Bar Italia on Frith Street, Soho, for the best cappuccino north of the Alps, their espresso machine is over 50 years old and still going strong. Open 24 hours a day, they just kick you out into the street when they want to clean the place. Or for a slightly upmarket tea try Claridges, good value, superb service and no tourists.

London book/film/documentary: London Sight Unseen by Snowdon. I was bought this book a few years ago. Snowdon travelled all over the capital photographing anything unusual or fascinating that caught his photographer’s eye. Or watch the play “The Knowledge” by the late Jack Rosenthal, a brilliant comedy about becoming a cabbie.

Interesting Shop: Pollock’s Toy Museum and shop in Scala Street near Goodge Street. A fascinating collection of toys from a bygone era.

London street/road/square: Queen Anne’s Gate. Unlike her statute outside St. Paul’s Cathedral, this exquisite little turning which takes its name from the aforementioned queen, encapsulates Georgian London, go there and be amazed that there are still places left in London like this, just don’t tell those modern architects, they’ll want to develop it.

Londoner: Thomas Coram although born in Lyme Regis and spent much of his early life at sea he’s an adopted Londoner. He later became a successful London merchant, as a great philanthropist Coram was appalled by the many abandoned, homeless children living in the streets of London. In 1739 he obtained a Royal Charter granted by George II establishing a “hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and deserted young children.” Visit the Foundling Museum near the children’s playing fields which take his name, just don’t go into the playground next door, you must be accompanied by a minor.

Period: 1650-1720 This is the time when London was brought to its knees after the Great Fire of London, yet within decades London was reborn as the greatest city in the world, in addition surviving civil war, plague, drought and bankruptcy. It’s a time when London gave rise to a generation of extraordinary men: Sir Christopher Wren, Robert Hooke, John Locke, John Evelyn and Nicholas Barbon.

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Green Dustmen

18 December, 2009 at 12:01 pm | In Driven mad in London | 1 Comment
Tags: environment

Driving in the West End chances are that you will find yourself stuck behind a dustcart. Sorry, environment improving vehicle. I seem to spend more time stationary behind them each day than an MP spends calculating his expenses.

It was on one of these unscheduled stops that I realised that there is more than one organisation collecting this rubbish, many businesses in London use the services of commercial refuse collectors and do not rely on the local council.

Warming, or was that global warming, to my theme I observed that all these vehicles proclaim their green credentials. So how can it be more “green” to have three vehicles twice a day collecting stuff? All are diesel, not electric; all keep their engines running continuously; and worse the traffic stuck behind them sits stationery belching out fumes.

Is it more financially viable to use different collections, or is it that the council refuses to collect the rubbish from these companies?

Surely one vehicle used during the night around these narrow streets would be more friendly to the environment, but more, much more important than that, they wouldn’t get in my way.

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CabbieBlog’s Milestone

16 December, 2009 at 2:58 am | In A window on My World | 4 Comments
Tags: blogging

In February of this year I started CabbieBlog, a bi-weekly compilation of thoughts and observations from a London cabbie. Along the way I’ve touched on subjects as diverse as Gordon Brown to Human Lavatories (maybe there is a link to be made here).

Little did I realise at the time that before the year was out over 100,000 people would visit my site, and with satisfying number taking the trouble to leave a constructive comment on over 100 posts.

Looking back on the posts the first on 23rd February is all about roadworks, well after last weeks’ debacle when the Blackwall Tunnel was closed with the result that East London was still gridlocked long after midnight, it would appear that London is now worse than when I first started writing.

So it looks as though I will just have to keep on whinging, but thank you all for helping me let off steam.

My wife has recently put up a fridge magnet which reads:

Everyone is entitled to my opinion

Should I now make this the strapline to CabbieBlog?

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The Bloomsbury Set

15 December, 2009 at 1:23 pm | In The Urban Landscape | 8 Comments
Tags: London squares

Once home to those Bohemian artists who made such an impact on Edwardian London, this area of London roughly bounded by Tottenham Court Road in the west, Euston Road on its northern edge, Gray’s Inn Road to the east and New Oxford Street through Bloomsbury Way and Theobalds Road at its southern extremity has remained neglected since the 1920s.

It was, in its day, the place to be seen for the fashionable enfants terrible of the literary and arts scene in London, with their emphasis on close interpersonal relationships and a fastidious attitude towards contemporary culture. They held sceptical views on social and political conventions and religious practices with many people accusing them of elitism. Whether you were discussing your views while partaking tea at the Hotel Russell (note it’s not the Russell Hotel), strolling through the British Museum viewing the artefacts plundered from around the world or enjoying its many gardens, you were the talk of literary London.

But after the Second World War this area had been allowed to lapse into a race track of one-way streets and frequented by the scruffy students from University College of London. Now this area has been quietly undergoing a makeover.

First the British Museum constructed Norman Foster’s glass-covered court a triumph of architecture and design, while nearby St George’s Church the sixth and final London church designed in 1731 by the leading architect of the English Baroque, Nicholas Hawksmoor was reopened to the public in 2006 following a five-year restoration possible by the generosity of the Paul Mellon Estate and the Heritage Lottery Fund.

And quietly while this was going on Camden Council, in a rare excursion from hounding the motorist, has turned its attention to the Squares of Bloomsbury which remarkably for this small area of London it can boast no fewer than 19 squares and gardens:

Russell Square, a large and orderly square; its gardens were originally designed by Humphry Repton. The square is adjacent to the Russell Hotel and a short distance from Russell Square Tube Station.

Bedford Square, built between 1775 and 1783, is still surrounded by its original town houses and is one of the finest Georgian squares in London.

Bloomsbury Square, a small circular garden, but called a square, is also surrounded by Georgian buildings including the former Victorian House and state home of the Lord Chancellor.

Queen Square, home to many hospitals including the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery.

Gordon Square, surrounded by the history and archaeology departments of University College London, as well as the former home of John Maynard Keynes, the famous economist.

Woburn Square, once an elegant Georgian square, demolished on 1969 to make way for the School of Oriental and African Studies.

Torrington Square, once known as the field of forty footsteps, also known as Brothers’ Steps, it was the ground which two brothers fought a duel in the 1680s over a girl with whom they were both in love. They were both killed. Tradition has it that 40 of their footprints were to be seen here for several years and no grass would grow upon the bank which the girl sat to watch the duel. The square is now home to other parts of University College London.

Tavistock Square, home to the British Medical Association; its eastern edge was the site of one of the 7 July 2005 London bombings.

Mecklenburgh Square, east of Coram’s Fields, one the few squares which remains locked for the use of local residents.

Coram’s Fields, a large recreational space on the eastern edge of the area, formerly home to the Foundling Hospital. It is only open to children and those adults accompanying children.

Brunswick Square, now occupied by the School of Pharmacy and the Foundling Museum.

Cartwright Gardens, this Georgian square is named after the political reformer who campaigned for universal suffrage, voting by ballot, annual parliaments and the end to slavery.

Regent Square, a small square with a Regency Terrace on one side.

Georges Gardens, small gardens adjoining Mecklenburgh Square.

Argyll Square, a small square to the north of Bloomsbury in need of restoration.

Two private squares off Bedford Place, these lie behind the properties on either side of this Georgian street.

A small park at the corner of Keppel Street and Mallet Street, the artist John Constable lived nearby.

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Hackney Carriages

11 December, 2009 at 1:22 am | In Slug snail & puppydog tail | 4 Comments
Tags: london taxis

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Hackney, this impoverished region of east London, was probably unknown to most of the world before the Olympic Games Committee decided its marshes would make a rather splendid place to hold the next Games.

The term Hackney Carriage is used the world over to describe a vehicle for hire, but first things first, Hackney [pronounced AK-ni] is now a fashionable place to reside, just don’t, I repeat don’t, call it Hackney, the locals will take you for an out-of-town plonker.

In medieval England Hackney was just a small village north-east of the City, on the west side of the River Lea, but separated from it by a large area of marshland where they are now constructing the Olympic Village. The countryside was pleasant, open, good-quality grassland, which became famous for the horses bred and pastured there. These were riding horses, “ambling horses”, as opposed to war horses or draught horses. Hence hackney became the standard term for a horse used for riding in industrial or domestic work. These horses were also made available for hire, and so the word also came to refer, about the end of the fourteenth century, to any horse that was intended to be hired out.

Later still, the emphasis of the word shifted from “horse” to “hire”, and it was used for any passenger vehicle similarly available, especially the hackney coach or hackney carriage. This last term of course became the usual one for a vehicle that could be hired, today’s London black taxis, with not a horse in sight, are still formally referred to by that name.

In the nature of things that are hired out to all and sundry, these horses of the hackney type were often worked heavily, so the word evolved in parallel with the previous sense to refer figuratively to something that was overused to the point of drudgery.

By the middle of the sixteenth century, hackney was being applied to people in just this sense, and was abbreviated about the start of the eighteenth century to hack, as in hack work; it was applied in particular to literary drudges who dashed off poor-quality writing to order, hence its modern pejorative application to journalists and now I suppose to the world of blogging.

Hackney horses were also widely available and commonly seen, to the extent that they became commonplace and unremarkable. So yet another sense evolved for something used so frequently and indiscriminately as to have lost its freshness and interest, hence something stale, unoriginal or trite. The adjective hackneyed communicated this idea from about the middle of the eighteenth century on.

By the way, it was thought at one time that this whole set of words derived from the French haquenée, an ambling horse. The first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary considered this to be so, but modern writers are sure that the French term was actually borrowed from the English place name, so great was the reputation of Hackney’s horses even in medieval times.

As the Victorian musical hall song went:

“With a ladder and some glasses / You could see the Hackney Marshes, / If it wasn’t for the houses in between”).

Well now it’s the largest building site in Europe obstructing the view.

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London’s Urban Myths

8 December, 2009 at 2:13 am | In Slug snail & puppydog tail | 4 Comments
Tags: London trivia

The Seven Noses of Soho

The Myth of the 7 Noses of Soho is a peculiar one. Rumour has it that there are 7 sculpted noses on buildings in the square mile that is Soho. It’s said that if an individual finds all 7 they also attain infinite wealth. Oh! If I find all 7 noses and become infinitely wealthy you can be assured that I would share the infinite wealth fairly with everyone who reads CabbieBlog. Paul Raymond is the only person attributed to finding them turning him from a failed ventriloquist into a property mogul.

Pigeon Travel cards

It’s not much as urban legends go, but many people claim that pigeons regularly ride the Underground on certain routes, routinely boarding and exiting at the same stations. Not surprisingly, my sources aren’t clear on which stations or lines the pigeons have been seen riding. I’ve seen one board a train at Earl’s Court, but I’m not certain it was deliberate. I didn’t see it alight from the train, either. Scary thought, that: first clever sheep, now intelligent commuting sky rats.

Ghost of the Underground

While on the theme of the Underground, it is less expected to discover a ghost on the Tube, and not far from the Tower. Staff at Aldgate station have been keeping a log of such incidents since the 1950s. In one report a maintenance worker is said to have survived a 22,000 volt shock from the third rail, immediately after a colleague had observed what he took to be a grey-haired figure, presumably his guardian angel, gently stroking his hair.

Queen’s Resting Place

Boudica was queen of the Iceni tribe of East Anglia. She joined up with the Trinovantes of Essex to rebel against the Roman treatment of her people. Together they attacked Roman settlements at Colchester, St Albans and destroyed the city of Londinium in AD60. She is said to be buried under platform 9 or 10 of King’s Cross Station.

Nelson in a gilded cage

Contrary to the popular rumour Nelson’s body isn’t in the gilded ball on the top of St. Paul’s Cathedral but down below in the crypt. Brought back to England preserved in a barrel of rum, Nelson’s body on arrival was placed in a magnificent sarcophagus originally intended for Cardinal Wolsey. The Cardinal didn’t need it after his altercation with Henry VIII.

Sniffy Judges

Judges presiding at the Old Bailey today still at certain times carry nosegays of aromatic herbs. This is a tradition harking back to a time when typhus or “jail fever” was endemic in the Justice Hall of Newgate. There is of course no evidence that a nosegay provides any protection whatsoever.

Camelot in Cockfosters?

Sir Thomas Mallory seemed convinced that Winchester was Camelot. Now there is another contender for the site of Arthur’s legendary Court, this time in North London, at the far end of the Piccadilly Line. Yes, I know it sounds rather far-fetched, but all the evidence (and there is plenty of it) indicates that a real Camelot once existed at the very centre of Enfield Chase, the Royal Hunting Ground of the Plantagenet Kings. Today it is still there, hidden in woods on the fringe of Trent Country Park, and known as Camlet Moat. Archaeological digs have been conducted, back in the 1880s and again in 1923 and some interesting finds were unearthed. They suggest a substantial structure with stone walls over five and a half feet thick, a massive drawbridge 38ft long and a subterranean dungeon. Sounds like a castle, doesn’t it? Smaller relics from the Roman period suggest the site is originally of impressive antiquity.

So how far will your cabbie go?

Sorry, I had to clear up this Urban Myth. Cabbies do not have to take you wherever you choose. Unless we have a good reason not to, drivers must: Accept any hiring up to 12 miles (20 miles if starting at Heathrow Airport) or one hour duration if the destination is in Greater London. Fares for destinations outside Greater London may be negotiated between the passenger and driver before the journey. If no fare is agreed before the start of the journey then the maximum fare will be that shown on the meter at the end of the journey. There, now don’t ask me again.

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Best Before Cabs

4 December, 2009 at 1:40 am | In A window on My World | 10 Comments
Tags: london taxis

When John Major, that grey man of politics, brought in the Food Labelling Regulations 1996, which compelled manufacturers to place an “appropriate durability indication” on items, he unleashed a tide of bureaucracy.

How can Deep Heat embrocation, candles and salt, that great preserver need a use by date?

Now we have just have the Copenhagen summit where Climate Change Junkies have said we have just 40 days to save the planet. Did some cavers go into an unknown void and find the inscription: “Manufactured 4.54 billion years ago; Best before soon after the end of Pleistocene Period”?

Now Mayor Boris Johnston has waded (if that is the correct term with the melting icecaps) into the debate. In an “inverted pyramid of piffle”, he has commissioned a consultation document on how long should a London black cab remain licensed.

According to Boris, all cabs should have a finite life of 10 years. Never mind that some of the newer vehicles have very low CO₂ emissions and that building a new cab produces far more damage to the environment than merely patching up the old droshky.

In a separate but not unrelated dictat those Bumbling Bureaucrats of Brussels intend to foist the working time directive on self employed cabbies.

The Directive provides a definition of the types of activities that should be included in the calculation of working time. These are: driving; loading and unloading; assisting passengers boarding and disembarking from the vehicle; cleaning and technical maintenance; and all other work intended to ensure the safety of the vehicle. It also covers the times during which a worker cannot dispose freely of their time and are required to be at their workstation. The Directive also regulates maximum weekly working time, breaks, rest periods and night work which at present amount to a total of 48 hours a week.

So there you have it, assuming I work 48 weeks a year the maximum life of my vehicle will be just 960 days, some of that time will be sitting on a rank, maintaining the vehicle and other sundry chores and the rest driving at the London average speed of 12mph.

Sorry can’t say that it must be expressed in kilometres, whatever that is.

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Going Japanese

1 December, 2009 at 1:45 am | In Driven mad in London | Leave a Comment
Tags: roads to riches

Five million quid doesn’t go very for these days it would seem. When they saw Westminster Council approaching them and asking the question, “Can you change our crossing to . . . a crossing?” the contractors must have rubbed their hands with glee.

Now after 8 weeks of work, enough concrete to build the Hoover Dam and gridlock on all the approaching roads, the Shibuya crossing at Oxford Circus is complete.

1200357_Oxford_Street_diagonals_shibuya1 I’m considering turning CabbieBlog into a conspiracy theory site, if I didn’t know better you could be forgiven for suspecting some of the road “improvements” taking place in London are designed to hold up traffic. You don’t have to possess a degree in traffic management to realise that if you cut a road’s capacity in half it’s going to take twice as long to pass a given point.

The newly completed Shilba crossing at Oxford Circus that CabbieBlog has commented on in the past is a £5 million mad scheme on a gargantuan scale and rivals Trafalgar Square as the worst traffic scheme ever imposed on London?

After removing the protective railings, the kerbs and filling the underground toilet with concrete, the pavements have been widened, not with smart paving slabs in keeping with this allegedly prestigious shopping area, no they have just been filled that space with concrete.

This now benefits the drug dealers, leaflet distributors and disorientated tourists who were always the biggest annoyances at what was and is still the worst intersection in London.

Now that other band who inhabit this quarter of London, the hordes of pubescent girls scrambling to get into Top Shop. Inevitably gaggles of them would meet “by the railings”, where they would stand for 20 minutes, texting each other while flicking their hair and adjusting their micro skirts, these little darlings are now spilling into a road which is devoid of either railings or kerb.

But apart from these vacuous creatures, who is going to shop in Oxford Street this Christmas next to a stationery line of traffic stretching for one mile, all pumping out CO₂because they can’t go anywhere?

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